wawamouse | Oz Rewatch 3: S3E01: The Truth and Nothing But…

(Originally posted to Tumblr)

This episode flew by! I have no complaints. I feel like it was another strong season start.

Plotlines

Weitgart takes over health maintenance with Dr Garvey; Alvarez is taken off his antidepressants and spirals; it is revealed he is being starved by the hacks
Simon Adebisi is released from the psych ward
New hacks: Clayton Hughes, Claire Howell
Ryan plays Jaz Hoyt against Schillinger as revenge
Hanlon moves into death row
Said meets Patricia Ross; Hamid Khan is introduced;
Metzger chokes out Busmalis; McManus plots to take him down; Beecher gets out of the hospital; Chris confesses to McManus about what happened to Beecher; Beecher kills Metzger

Sister: How is cutting $28 million from the prison health budget not going to cut quality? Like I could understand if they cut the budget and it was like $3million or something relatively small in terms of a state budget.
Me: The way they were having a press conference with the Weitgart guy in front of those two random inmates in the hospital beds…. 😂

Sister: She’s like “oh no, I got another one”.
Miguel: [Tosses the pills]
Sister: You know, I was hoping she’d have her doctorly victory this season, but she already failed to watch him take his pills. That’s like Doctor 101… She was even championing for him to get his pills and she didn’t even watch him? He’s already putting himself in the very position the company guy (Garvey) was trying to put him in anyway.
Me: Maybe it’s a nurse’s job so she didn’t do it.
Sister: Pshhh Doctors should know that, too!

Sister: What’s the holy sacrament? I thought he said he was going to give holy communion.
Me: I think you need to confess to get the sacrament to go to communion.
Sister: What does that mean?
Me: I don’t know. You get the cracker.
Sister: You have to confess to nibble on Jesus...

Sister: Ew, what is that, pee?
[after Miguel drinks from the jug]
Sister: Don’t they get water from the toilet and the shower? Why’s he drinking his pee? You know, he should be dead, then. You can’t actually survive off your own pee. Wait, but if he’s flushing his pills down the toilet and then he’s drinking from the toilet, isn’t he taking his pills after all? Where’s my phone. I need to google if prison toilets have water… And doesn’t he have a sink? He has like three sources of water… I don’t think he needs to drink his own pee. I think he’s just doing a survivor thing.
Me: Like Bear Grylls.
Sister: Yeah. One of the questions on google is ‘why do prisoners remove water from their toilets’, so I think that must mean they have water in their toilets.
Me: But maybe they shut off the water to Miguel’s cell somehow.
Sister: But I think they’d have to shut off the water to the whole block—the whole area. Then they wouldn’t have water, either.
Me: Well, either way, he decided to drink his own pee, so. Just goes to show his state of mind, I guess.
Sister: He saw his grandpa and he thinks he doesn’t have water…

Sister: He looks more like a Simon now. He’s going to be like a little lamb who’s thrown to the wolves and then becomes bad again…
Me: Do you think he's changed?
Sister: Well he grew out his hair and he's wearing all his clothes, so who knows.

Sister, without hesitation: WHAT is there to cut on this bald man’s head?! (Sister, walking behind me as I add this screencap to the post: Hmph. Bald-ass man....)

Sister speculated greatly about the Big Lesbian Romance of Diane and Claire in the locker room but I forgot to record exactly what she said because I was still laughing at something she was saying about Clayton Hughes, which I also failed to record.

Howell: Speak of action, who's the cute guy who's running Emerald City? Sister (as Diane) (dumbdumb voice): I dunno. Wanna go out? [...] Howell: You used to fuck him? Sister (as Diane) (elf voice): No. I'm a lesbian! [Etc]

Sister: She’s like the new Samantha of the group.
Me: I don’t know what that means.
Sister: Why did she look at everyone in this place and decide that this was the cutie?
Me: She has ulterior motives.
Sister: Hmm.

Sister: Aw, not this lady again. Why are her curtains on the inside of her cell? They should put it on the outside so she can’t keep opening it to try and seductively peek outside.

Sister was howling with laughter throughout most of the Hanlon dick-showing conversation because she just thought the premise of it was so funny and pointless. She said Shirley complimenting Hanlon’s dick was equivalent to “when an old man compliments you and it doesn’t even mean anything because he has no idea what he’s talking about and it doesn't mean anything to you”.

Sister: Why is this bald guy in every corner of this prison??

Sister didn't understand why Said talking to Patricia was suddenly a big deal or a surprise to everyone, considering it had already been established that his ex-fiancee was white and we'd already seen her last season. So I think this whole story line is already down the drain in her mind.

Me: Ehh…
Sister: I don’t know ‘bout that.

Sister: WHAT?! No they’re not!
Me: 6 months, I think, depending on the break.
Sister: Are you kidding me? His bones broke like a pizza pocket. They turned him into a chicken nugget. He was like a rotisserie chicken when they were done with him.

Stray thoughts:

I wonder what Adebisi’s various colored bands that he wears after coming out of the psych ward mean
Sister, who eats like 7 potatoes a day, was really impressed by Poet’s potato skinning
I told Sister that Hamid Khan's actor is the warden's actor's son and she asked me why I said it like that and then immediately started suggesting that Khan was Glynn's secret son
Sister got excited about Miss Sally at first but because she just actually just really finds children’s shows interesting. She was very 😑 when she realised what the gag was.
Sister: I like the biker dude (Jaz). He's very chill but he also seems too soft. I feel like he can be easily manipulated.
I told Sister that Metzger was the voice of Patrick Star and she nonsensically replied that he “looks like it”.
Sister didn’t understand that Beecher had killed Metzger with his fingernails until she was halfway through critiquing his “poor nail cutting technique”. Then she laughed and said “so dumb…”
New characters introduced: Malcolm Coyle (Snake), Claire Howell, Hamid Khan, Patricia Ross, Carlo Ricardo, Clayton Hughes
Sister: [singing Hellfire from The Hunchback of Notre Dame] I wonder what would happen if you sang that song to Sister Peter Marie. Would she think that was weird? If you slammed your lunch tray down and went ♪deSTrOY ESmERALDA♪?
Sister wonders what Miguel’s girlfriend is doing because she randomly remembered that she was also in a prison; "I wonder if it's like this one or if there are no deaths..."
Jaz tattoo artist proof (someone said something about it the other day, but I forget who 😭):

After the episode

Sister: We didn’t see Pedro (Chico) this episode… Me: Yeah we did. He eats a cookie.

^ He eats a cookie

Me: Did you have any favorite new characters?
Sister: I liked the biker dude. But he seems like he’s going to get taken advantage of 'cause he's kinda dumb.
Me: He was in the show last season.
Sister: Well I don’t remember anyone else. Who am I supposed to like? Who was there? There was the new female hack, I guess. The new Samantha…
Me: That guy. Carlo Ricardo.
Sister: What am I supposed to like about him? All we know about him is he has a family.
Me: Yeah, I guess there wasn’t really enough screen time for any of the new characters. Hamid Khan was also introduced, and the white lady.
Sister: There was the black guy who got beat up. Am I supposed to like him? His name was Snake. That’s a terrible name. “My name is Snake”; “And what’s your last name?”; “The One Who Will Betray You”...; “What was that?”; “Huh?”…. That would not be me. If I was in prison, I’d make my nickname something that sounds good, like Clever Rabbit or Strong Ox or something. I’d virtue name myself. I’d be like “Hi my name is Undying”; “Oh, what’s your last name?”; “Loyalty.” ... I’d be there the entire show because they could never kill me. You can't kill Undying Loyalty. Snake?? So dumb. The other guy? Poet? That’s fine. That’s neutral. The names in this show tell you everything, though. “My name is Snake”? Yeah, I bet you are… They got that cabbage (Nappa) guy… and his name is cabbage so you know he probably cooks. Metzger? Nazi. Ryan “O’Reily”? He probably worked at an auto parts place, and he's Irish. The warden's secret love child? The Khan guy? Oh, he's one of the Muslims. Miguel? Latino. And there’s a “mi” in there so you also know he’s a little bit about himself… There’s no guy in this show who’s just named Josh or something.